Negative thoughts and how to handle them
Side Note : I had drafted this article almost a year to date, but never published it. Naturally things have escalated quite significantly for all of us in the last few months, but I found these few points of discussion really relevant for a lot of us at this time. If you’re experiencing anxiety, grief, lack of motivation or inspiration, know that these things are totally natural and normal.
Negative thoughts happen to all of us. On a day to day, week to week, month to month basis. You could be the most positive person in the world, I bet you still have a few flash-pessimistic conversations in there. And you know what? It makes us all the more human. The important thing is not to get carried away by the undercurrent of those conversations.
Here’s are a few things I do that help me get out of a mental roadblock and into the safety zone.
Some ways to overcome negative thoughts
Get some perspective
When you’re looking at things too closely, they start to loose their true meaning or focus. It’s hard sometimes to see the bigger picture. I’ve started to ask myself how certain negative situations will affect me in the next 5-10 years. Most of the time, the answer is not that much. And if it is, well, then I take a look and consider what needs to be done about it. There are ways to overcome the hurdles thrown at you and for you to grow from them. Remember you always have a choice as to how you react.
Whenever I’m confronted with a difficult situation that doesn’t require immediate action, I always take some time away from it. I go for a walk, listen to a podcast or watch a movie, if I can I take the whole weekend away to let it sink in and gather my thoughts, then I do that too. A lot of the time, coming back to it with a fresher set of eyes and brain can be the difference between dramatising something out of proportion or finding a simple solution that can be easily handled.
Be grateful
Ah, gratitude. I say it a lot because it’s something I’m quite big on, and I try to remind myself as much as possible. So consider this paragraph my own personal reminder. That one moment I sit back, take a breath, and actually get that overall look at how much I already do have, then damn — things really switch around in my head. There is always something to be grateful for, even if it’s having legs to stretch, a heart that beats or a roof over your head.
Getting out of your head
From my own perspective, Yoga has always helped me with the personal conversation I have with myself. Because like many, I use to (or still tend to) listen to myself too much! There’s something about going to a room full of sweaty people and listening to one main person have a different conversation for me. They tell me that, ultimately, I have control over my thoughts, my body, and that I am, in fact, freakin’ perfect as it is. And you know what? After enough shaking, sweating and both physical and emotional effort, I start to believe them. Even if you’re outlet isn’t yoga, find some form of physical exercise or hobby that helps you cleanse and express everything that is going on inside. Journaling, writing, dancing… anything that comes most naturally to you. Without judgment, give it a go.
Sometimes, you just have to get.it.out.
** Side Note: While we currently can’t visit our favourite yoga studios, there are still a huge variety of online platforms that offer a wide range of yoga, meditation, and workout classes. It’s all about working with what we currently have, but I highly recommend injecting a heavy dose of self-care into your routine! Remember that mental health during these times should be the highest priority.
Dig Deep
Our negative thoughts can be the thin veil that covers much bigger, deeper issues. If you find yourself constantly nitpicking or beating yourself up over all the little things, there may be an issue that you need to resolve at it’s core. Write down all the things that are negatively impacting you, like the current situation, and next to it a phrase that can help you turn it around. Sure you’re “stuck at home” (Some people argue it’s “safe at home” and I tend to agree — remember: perspective!). But that time at home means a whole lot more time for YOU. Get to know you, develop you, write a love letter with YOU. This type of introspection doesn’t have to be SUPER deep, it just might mean you suddenly get into cooking. Introspection leads to creativity. Creativity leads to risk taking. And risk taking? It opens up the doors to a whole new universe of possibilities.
“In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that’s guaranteed to fail is not taking risks ”
And NOW is definitely the time to be doing that. I really want to encourage everyone on here to stretch the limits of their imagination. Write, draw, record videos, watch tutorials, make tutorials .... TAKE A CREATIVE RISK! And it doesn’t even have to be for others, it can just be for yourself.
It’s scary, but I genuinely love connecting with everyone, and during this time it’s really cool to foster this type of community : ask, share tips, share thoughts and ideas, and watch the world come alive. You don’t need a million followers, you need 1 other person.
A Word on Overwhelm
I remember one evening sitting in bed and bursting into tears with all the changes happening in the world. With everything being so uncertain and with all the information overload, it’s easy to feel helpless or for lack of better word, isolated. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, I like to turn to a book, spiritual practice like gratitude journalling or meditation, or doing some physical exercise. Sjana Elise has some great free youtube videos for yoga and meditation, as well as one of my favourite authors, Gabrielle Bernstein.
Listening to music, or watching a Ted Talk like this one about anxiety by Elizabeth Gilbert is really helpful too.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s even more okay to take things slow right now.
Most importantly, don’t forget to reach out in these times of need.
To a friend, a family member, anyone you trust and who will be able to listen.
With Love, Stay Safe.