Lost In Translation: Your darkest yoga questions, answered.

A few weeks ago I asked the world of social media what was the funniest/weirdest thing they've ever heard in a yoga class. I just put it out there on the internet, without really expecting much in return. Safe to say I got some pretty funny answers. Most were predictable, others, less so. But out of all the feedback that I got, 3 things stood out the most, and I've rounded them up into what I hope is will bring you a little enlightenment on this funny, yet sometimes cryptic practice. 

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First things First : FARTS

Farts in yoga are at the forefront of every first timer's mind. Until you've been to class a couple of times and heard it for yourself, it'll always haunt you during every class. "Do people fart in your yoga class?" and "What do you do when that happens" are probably the most common questions I get. Yes. They happen.  And I know what you’re thinking: They happen in happy baby, they happen in supine twist. They just happen.

HOW does one react? There are two scenarios: If you are the farter, then you can blindly choose to ignore it as if it didn’t come from you. So maybe don’t react. Whether or not you should or shouldn’t laugh … is up to you. Truth is, your butt toot is as awkward AF for me to hear as it is to you, so I choose to ignore it for the sake of sanity and the general flow of the class. Unless someone just looses their sh*t and decides to laugh. Then I’ll just join in.

 

Understanding the Lingo: Do you Habla yogi? Excusez-moi, Namaste.

Breathe into your hips. Raise your vibration. Mula Bunda. Savasana: What the hell are we talking about?

I know, I know. It’s basically as hippy as you can get, and probably the reason why some people are too scared to try yoga altogether. I can’t find my car keys, don’t even ask me to find my vibration AND raise it. Cryptic expressions like  “breathe into your hips” or “Soften the edges of your brain” are just metaphors to get your imagination going. I’ve been guilty of claiming a few "out-there" statements in a yoga class, blame it on getting caught up in the moment and wanting to sound profound. Just know that everything we are trying to say is to get you to focus visually and mentally on something, rather then just letting you wander off into the jumble of thoughts going through your mind. 

BEST advice I can give you is: Take it with a pinch of salt. Sometimes it’s all just part of the fun, and if your teacher is even half decent, they’ll be sure to translate some of that for you along the way, or at the end of class. Don’t be afraid to ask: We love answering questions. And don’t be afraid to giggle, either. Seriousness in yoga is over estimated.

 

How do I do THAT? : The art of accepting that you will suck (at first)

I’ve had some bewildered stares. Some lost looks of despair mixed with pain as I explain how to get into extended side angle pose. And I’m sorry, I really am. The looks I get sometimes make me just wanna hug you and tell you it will all be alright. Truth is, yoga at first, can be quite bewildering and confusing. It's also hard and unless you are naturally bendy, there will be some struggling involved. 

 It also depends on how relatable your teacher is,  sometimes you just gotta find the person you click with.

We all go through it. There was a time when I was lost and in “what the hell” moments myself. Downward dog was my biggest and greatest apprehension. No human should have to stand on their hands for that long.  Just know that this too, shall pass. Just keep on coming to class, keep the practice going. Before you know it, you'll be hooked. One day you will Padangustasana while engaging your mula bandha and focusing your drishti on your third eye center. It all comes together in the end, It will all make sense. Just breathe.